Santo Ephrem

Santo Ephrem is a well known saint in certain circles of the Christian faith, but he is not well known amongst most members of the Roman Catholic Church.  He is the patron saint for spiritual directors and spiritual leaders; so he has become my patron saint because I am now the Directress of the St. Francis de Sales group to which I belong.  St. Ephrem also happened to die on the day I was born (June 9th)......well of course about 1600 years before my birth.  He was born in Nisibis which was an ancient city and trade center under Roman control; and was situated along the road from Assyria to Syria in northern Mesopotamia.   This southeastern Turkish city is currently known as Nusaybin.

Historians do not know very many early details of St. Ephrem's life, but they have deduced from his records of writings that he was possibly born in a fourth century Christian family although some researchers believe that his father was a pagan.  His "Sunday school teacher" was St. James (bishop) of Nisibis, and
St. Ephrem was confirmed as a young adult.  He lived during a disturbing time of the Church.   Heresies were rampant.   The Church and Christians were under persecution.   As an ordained deacon of the Church, he distributed food and goods to the poor; and helped priests with liturgical duties and preaching the Gospel.  In addition, St. Ephrem wrote prayers which are still recited in the Eastern Catholic and Orthodox churches and wrote hymns which also still sung at mass.  The hymns were written to combat heretical teachings of the time.  He is also known for writing many manuscripts to aid the efforts of saving the TRUE FAITH of the Church.  How he lived his life with sacrifice and courage.......defending the faith; and his well known writings contributed to him receiving the title, Doctor of the Church, in 1920.

The Prayer of St. Ephrem the Syrian
(recited during lent in the Eastern Rite Church)

O Lord and Master of my life, keep from me the spirit of indifference and discouragement, lust of power and idle chatter.      [kneel/prostration]

Instead, grant to me, Your servant, the spirit of wholeness of being, humble-mindedness, patience, and love.     [kneel/prostration]

O Lord and King, grant me the grace to be aware of my sins and not to judge my brother; for You are blessed now and ever and forever. Amen.    [kneel/prostration]

 Meditating on the life of St. Ephrem.......focusing on the stress and tension of his days due to the persecution and circulating heresies......brings me to certain thoughts.......1) Did he think twice before he stood up to the heretics and persecutors with his writings and teachings....or was all that he did a natural response due to his faith and conviction?  2)  How did he handle the overwhelming moments when he may have felt despair wondering into his thoughts?  3) How can I apply his example to my role as a Directress?  4)  Could he keep his perceptions from influencing the TRUTH?

One thought that keeps convicting me after reading about St. Ephrem is...........TRUST in the TRUTH.   

• Trust him and he will uphold you, follow a straight path and hope in him.   - Sirach 2

• Those who trust in him will understand the truth, those who are faithful will live with him in love; for grace and mercy await his holy ones, and he intervenes on behalf of his chosen.      -Wisdom 3

•  saying to Yahweh, 'My refuge, my fortress, my God in whom I trust!'   - Psalm 91

• Let dawn bring news of your faithful love, for I place my trust in you; show me the road I must travel for you to relieve my heart.      - Psalm 143

•  Trust wholeheartedly in Yahweh, put no faith in your own perception;....  - Proverbs 3

I need to remember every morning during early prayers that God is my refuge and my fortress.   He will save me from my faults so that He is exalted.....as long as my intentions are aligned with the TRUTH ......and I TRUST in His saving grace....
Then every evening, give thanks for being safely delivered from another day of living out my faith for times are gearing up for a big battle.  Life involves cycles.....We are past the 300 degree mark of our christian cycle.....a battle of faith is on its way.   Shining and waxing our armor won't be enough in the coming days......We need to be ready to put the armor to use.....It's going to get dented and marked up.....but first, we need to remember to put it on every morning..............Times are going to get tough..............just as the times were during the days of St. Ephrem.  Our swinging sword will be the skill which God leads us to use...........................
St. Ephrem's sword was his pen and paper.  My calling is teaching....Since my sword of words can induce wounds, I need to watch where I swing my sword.  I am still learning how to reign in my passion and only spew tough words when called.....not by my will....but His will.  

St. Ephrem, pray for my spiritual leadership.
St. Dominic, pray for my even temper and swing of my sword.

St. Pio, pray for my TRUST in the TRUTH.

St. Florian, pray for the safety of all fire fighters and emergency responders.

St. Benedict, pray for the healing of those with kidney disease.
St. Jude, pray for impossible cases.

St. Therese the little flower, pray for my humility.

St. Francis de Sales, pray for my patience and gentleness.

Thank you Lord for the blessings of this life.

Bless those who have chosen to love me.

May I bless those who have blessed me.  Amen.
- little petunia

Nonna

If I had known how wonderful it would be to have grandchildren,
I'd have had them first.  
~Lois Wyse

Being a nonna (grandmother) is the ultimate blessing!  It is an experience that can only be understood by living the excitement.  "Grandparenthood" involves unconditional love, freedom, energy, action, entertainment, wonder, and laughter.  Grandchildren have an awesome healing power which helps you forget your worries.  They also bring a momentum to your life just when you thought that life was becoming boring or routine.   There is no routine with grandchildren......because just when you think you know how to take care of them or entertain them, your grandchildren change it all up.  You have a front row seat to the physical and spiritual development of a life which you are free to watch......maybe guide.....but ultimately my goal of being a nonna is having fun with my nipotino (grandson).

  On the seventh day God rested. 
His grandchildren must have been out of town. 
~Gene Perret

When Carter Paul comes to visit......He enters my home yelling "Nonna!".......This is music to my ears.......His little exciting and cheerful voice just warms my heart as I hear his little man body hop through the house like a rabbit looking for me.  When he scans the house to make sure everything is in its place, his facial expressions are so entertaining. If he sees something that he doesn't like or understand......Carter Paul shakes his head with disgust.  He is so animated and full of energy.  He will go from sweeping the kitchen to pulling out the kitchen pots and pans......to wanting to go outside to kick the soccer ball.....to wanting a snack....to  sweeping the mulch out of the garden......to laying down for a brief thought of a nap.   Nothing else matters when my nipotino is in the house.  I wait for Carter to be ready for my favorite activity.......rocking him while I sing "Frosty the Snowman".  He'll tell me to keep singing....or to rock faster......One of his favorite things to do is hopping into my rocker before me.....giggling.....as he pulls me down on top of his lap!  

 Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild.
~Welsh Proverb

 

Having and raising my children was a unique experience with each one.  Children can test the limits of your love, and challenge the limits of your wisdom.  Parenting comes with no owner's manual, but I would choose to be a mother all over again for ....Faithful love brings its own reward.......(Proverb 11).   At one time, I once described the love for my children as natural, tough, yet unconditional.  As I reflect back......I admit that my love was unconditional.....but I still expected them to follow the house rules.....so wasn't there really some conditions?!  There is built in stress and worries with parenting.....But as a nonna.........those all fall away.  Those energy burners belong to my daughter, Shelby, and son-in-law, Trevor.   I have finally experienced true unconditional love as a nonna.....no stress...no worries.....I have found a built in trust that everything will be ok.  

Mothering my children did not involve spoiling them.  They did not get what they wanted and learned that whining did not work on me.  I had an armor which their nagging could not wear down. Since becoming a nonna, my armor has weakened.  If Carter wants a couple of biscotti before dinner, then he gets a couple of biscotti......If Carter doesn't eat all of his vegetables, then he can still have desert.  Now, I don't let this habit of giving in to Carter's demands all of the time, but it is fun, because I know that his parents are doing a wonderful job at disciplining Carter, and giving him a stable foundation for good habits.  I want my nipotino to feel like he can come to nonna's house for loving support no matter what.....I want Carter to realize that his worries and stress can fall away while he is at nonna's.  I want my home to represent a zone of happiness and safety.  I'll support him with anything for my nipotino can do no wrong in my eyes!  God will support my steadfast prayers for my nipotino.....that I trust.   My prayer for Carter Paul is for wisdom and humility.  He alone works wonders, for his faithful love endures forever (Psalm 136), and Yahweh is tenderness and pity, slow to anger, full of faithful love (Psalm 145).

  If nothing is going well, call your grandmother.   

~Italian Proverb

In a couple of weeks, a nipotina will arrive.  I am so excited!  A granddaughter must have her own uniqueness.  Her name will be Eloise Ann which means that she will be a famous warrior who is favored by God.  An excellent name for a female from my lineage due to the strong-willed survival character which woman in my family have.  She'll probably be born with a sword in her hand.  My prayer for Eloise will be for gentleness and patient passion.

St. Joseph the worker, pray for my family and their intentions.

St. Anne, pray for my grandchildren.

St. Benedict, pray for those with kidney disease.

St. Therese the little flower, pray for my humility.

St. Pio, pray for my patience.
St. Jude, pray for impossible cases.
St. Florian, pray for all emergency responders and fire fighters.
St. St. Gregory, the Great, pray for the virtuous efforts of all teachers.
Dear Lord, please bless those who have chosen to love me.
May I bless those who have blessed me.  Amen.
- little petunia

Perdita

Somewhere on this planet.......someone is experiencing a perdita (loss)........a loss of eyesight......a loss of a favorite object.....a loss of one's mind......a loss of a home......a loss of faith......a loss of a cherished loved one due to death......a loss of keys.....a loss of a friend to a misunderstanding or distance,.....or a loss of integrity.  By definition, loss means the state of no longer having something because it has been taken from you or destroyed. A loss could be from natural means or it could be due to outside influences.....so sometimes, one can try to prevent a loss, but other times, a loss is totally unexpected.

The type of loss which can have different grave effects on individual people is the loss of someone due to a death....tragic or natural.  For women, an even more devastating perdita is a miscarriage.  A miscarriage is a loss of a life unseen, or as the medical field defines, a miscarriage is a spontaneous abortion which is a harsh description.  The American Pregnancy Association describes a spontaneous abortion as a pregnancy that ends on its own, within the first 20 weeks of gestation.  There is no one reason for the occurrence of a miscarriage, but possible causes may be due to.....

• Hormonal problems, infections or maternal health problems
• Lifestyle (i.e. smoking, drug use, malnutrition, excessive caffeine and exposure to radiation or toxic substances)
• Implantation of the egg into the uterine lining does not occur properly
• Maternal age
• Maternal trauma
• Genetic reasons

 There are various types of miscarriages but the end result and affects on the mother are the same.  The woman realizes the loss, but the tragedy is in not knowing what the child would have looked like or how the child would have behaved.  The uniqueness of the child is not experienced by the mother who briefly housed a developing life within her. It doesn't matter what caused the miscarriage.  What matters is that a life formed within the mother.....As a sperm combined with an oocyte, a soul entered the zygote which develops from an 2-cell embryo to a morula to a blastocyst. The blastocyst (embryo) implants in the uterine lining by the fifth day after fertilization. By the 11th week, the embryo is identified as a fetus. This life forming process begins at a miraculous and microscopic level.  Changes in her body are the only signs that a life is developing in her womb.   The loss of this life also brings painful physical manifestations to the mother and creates an imaginable hole in the heart of the mother.  A mother loves her offspring from the time of conception.....sight unseen.
 

Yahweh says this: A voice is heard in Ramah, lamenting and weeping bitterly: it is Rachel weeping for her children, refusing to be comforted for her children, because they are no more. 

- Jeremiah 31

What does a mother do with this hole in her heart?  She mourns.  She cries water falls of tears.  From my personal experience, I live with the hole in my heart by placing my hope in Him (Hebrews 2).  God is the almighty healer, so I lean on His grace and mercy. I rely on Him for healing.   My first miscarriage.....my first perdita.....occurred 27 years ago and my heart is still healing....but my joy is more and my sorrow less.  I was truly by myself.  There was no one to share my turmoil....no one to listen to my story. Bearing this type of loss by yourself is indescribable.  God, my faith and guardian angel delivered me safely....otherwise, I would have lost my mind.  After I was married, I miscarried again on Good Friday of 2000, and then again in late 2001.  The pain was easier to bear with the last two miscarriages because my husband's faith lifted up my sorrow.  Each miscarriage occurred in the late embryo stage right at the end of the first trimester, and I chose to name each child.......Michal Grace (October 1985), Josie Blix (April 2000), and Leo James (November 2001).   Just as our Father in Heaven calls each us by name and knows our souls before each conception........I call each of my children in Heaven by name for my heart knows them.

 Lift up your eyes on high And see who has created these stars, The One who leads forth their host by number, He calls them all by name; Because of the greatness of His might and the strength of His power, Not one of them is missing.

- Isaiah 40:26

Each of the three embryos had a soul.  They don't exist in my imagination.  Michal Grace, Josie Blix, and Leo James are real for they come to me at different times especially during prayer.  Before I miscarried Josie Blix, Mother Mary came to me with Josie on her lap.....Josie was not a blastocyst of cells.....She was a fully formed infant.  During a public rosary prayer event, all three of them found me in the crowd and began to poke me like my young live children would do to me to get my attention. I identify their presence also through a simple breeze where there wasn't one just before....or by blue butterflies flying around me.  Through the sorrow of their physical absence in my life, I have gained blessings.  My faith and belief in the TRUTH of God's Word and the power of the TRINITY continues to carry me.  I am a stronger person, but if I let go, then I begin to drown......so I continue to treasure their existence by holding their hands.   

  Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have - life itself.  

- Walter Anderson, American artist/writer

St. Raphael the Archangel, pray for my physical and spiritual healing.
St. Pio, pray for my unborn children.
St. Jude, pray for impossible cases.
St. Benedict, pray for those with kidney disease.
St. Therese the little flower, pray for my humility.
St. Florian, pray for the safety of all emergency responders and fire fighters.
St. Gregory, the Great, pray for the virtuous intentions of all teachers.
Dear Lord, please bless those who have chosen to love me.
May I bless those who have blessed me.  Amen.
- little petunia

Memoria

 God gave us memories that we might have roses in December. 
~J.M. Barrie, Courage, 1922

Today is my birthday...another year older, but hopefully wiser.  As the gap to being 1/2 a century old gets smaller, I find myself reflecting on my life......

• Have I made the right choices?
• Have my desires, fears, instincts, or Holy Spirit guided my decisions?  
• Am I on the best path?
• Is my current status "as good as it gets" or will there be an unexpected epilogue?

My memories of times past help my reflection. Sometimes, I can pull memories forward with little effort while other memories require a word, an odor, a flavor, a sound, or a texture to pull a memory forward from the cobwebs of my brain. Cognitive Psychology is a field of science which studies the mechanisms of memory.  There does seem to be a method to how a brain stores memory even though the experts can't seem to agree where certain memories are stored.  Some scientific evidence shows that the hyppocampus stores more recent memories while other research supports that older memories are stored in the upper surfaces of the frontal, temporal, or parietal lobes.  No matter where the memories are stored....or whether the memories are short-term or long-term, the roses in December either bring me joy; or I find a way to gain wisdom from painful, sorrowful, or disappointing memories.  Dr. Wayne Dyer states that we can create the world that we live in by how we process information from our world, so I figure that I can create positive memories by how I process the facts and feelings from past events......even if negative details and emotions occurred.  

  I’m not going to tell you the story the way it happened. I’m going to tell it the way I remember it.

- Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

Friedrich Nietzsche, a 19th century German philosopher, once stated that the existence of forgetting had never been proven, and that some things just don't come to mind when we want them.  I suppose he believed that there was more than choice involved with the mechanism of forgetting. 

There is one particular memory from an event which occurred more than 25 years ago where a specific detail refuses to come forward. With this memory, it is strange how this one detail can not be remembered while other details from the event are crisp and clear.  I can even remember how I felt throughout the whole event. One day the detail will be revealed to me, but till then, I cherish the positive lessons learned and the affectionate memory of a possibility (2 Maccabees 9).  This event was a blessing for it stirred an enthusiasm within me for the definition of life.  

 He put fresh heart into them by citing the Law and the Prophets and, by stirring up memories of the battles they had already won, he filled them with new enthusiasm. - 2 Maccabees 15

I agree with Helen Keller for she thought that life is always good as long as the memory of certain beloved friends lived in her heart. Through my short life time, I have a few beloved friends who belong to my different rites of passages; and have a permanent resident in my heart for I have shared tears, laughter, love, and faith with each one. When I am in reflective mood, I use my senses to relive the joyful memories.  Not only experiencing life with these friends were blessings, but I am twice blessed with the memories.  This particular birthday has brought birthday blessings of joy, peace, messages from friends, hugs from family, simplicity, hope, new memories, love, encouragement, sunshine, and laughter. The day reminds me of the a verse from Ezekiel 34......"I will cause showers to come down in their season; there will be showers of blessings."  

I believe the purpose of memories is hope. HOPE in the possibility that doors passed up and unopened will come by again; or HOPE in the probability that the doors unopened will still bring joy, because I am striving to fulfill my purpose in life. I believe that God will correct my path if I make a wrong turn as long as I work towards His expectation.  My memories help me evaluate the distance and path which I have traveled, so I can determine which direction I am to go. 

Footfalls echo in the memory
Down the passage which we did not take
Towards the door we never opened
~T.S. Eliot

---

St. Raphael the Archangel, bring God's healing and guide me to open the next unexpected door.

St. Therese the little flower, pray for my humility.

St. Pio, pray for my unborn children.

St. Francis de Sales, pray for my simplicity and gentleness.

St. Jude, please pray for the impossible cases of my heart. 

Thank you dear Lord for a beautiful and blessed day.

Bless those who have blessed me. Amen.

- little petunia

Benedizioni

 Blessing is the sovereign act of God, and the power of benediction like the power of God.

- John Pearson (1600's Theologian)

Brachot is the yiddish word for blessings, and blessing different daily events is a common Hebrew practice.  Most people bless their meals before they consume, and they may send blessings to loved ones for major events like baptism, confirmation, graduation, or marriage.....but what an interesting notion to recite blessings after a meal; when rising from slumber; to set the daily attitude; for God bearing our burdens and meeting our needs; or for recognizing God's sovereign power.  If we would only bless God before, during, and after our daily activities; then our focus would always be on the Trinity.  This practice could bring enlightenment and appreciation for how the "Three in One" influences the direction of our lives.

Benedizioni or blessings are considered to be anything from sacred formal prayers to asking for God's favor to good wishes to joyful praises to guarding from evil.  It is so easy to remember to ask....or beg for God's blessings during challenges, adventures, or catastrophies.....but do we remember to bless God when times are good and running smooth?  King David continuously blessed the LORD and encouraged all of Israel to do the same (Psalm 26:12). How do we bless the LORD?  Our blessings fall upon our Creator every time we recall how He guides us down our path; provided for our needs; kept us from temptation; and protected us.  We bless God when ever we thank Him for His grace and mercy, and each time we express our love to Him. Spending quality time with the LORD as your humble heart overflows with expressive thankfulness and praise also delivers blessings to His doorstep. Blessing the LORD is to be ceaseless, and not only private, but blessing the LORD should occur with other grateful hearts. (Psalm 34)

In his Sermon on the Mount, Jesus lists who are blessed (Matthew 5:3-10).  This list is referred to as the "Beatitudes".  Jesus stated that blessings will fall upon those who can live a life which fulfills the beatitudes.   To position ourselves for blessings, we must.........

• live a selfless life with a mild cheerful manner and clean loving intentions as we practice, develop, and acquire virtuous characteristics of gentleness, charity, humility, and patience.  
• sacrifice our desires and cheerfully accept God's plans for our lives understanding the difference
  between His sovereign power and our serving position.  
• obtain a tender consciousness which is sensitive to the affects of sin.
• courageously defend the defenseless while bringing peace and mercy to the weary.
• live for the prevalence of justice in all situations even if persecution befalls us. 

Read the list again........God blesses those who bring blessings to others......We are called to live for others and not for ourselves.  We are called to open ourselves.....open our hearts to LOVE outside ourselves.  When we LOVE God and all of His creations........When we LOVE strangers.......When we live virtuous,sinless, sacrificial, and penitence lives.......When His plans become our plans.....Our lives will be BLESSED.

Laying down our lives for others reminds of how tree bark protects the life supporting tissues called xylem and phloem.  Bark is a tree's natural armor.  It protects a tree from external threats from the environment.  The interior tissues of a tree....the cambium and heartwood are tender yet supportive just as the interior rooms of a soul are sensitive and responsive to the harsh injustices and violence of a society.  We must help one another survive society's unmercifulness such as when a spouse is laid off; a home is lost to bankruptcy; a child is lost to a drunk driver; a neighbor is wrongfully accused; or discrimination keeps someone from employment.  Lamentations 3:22-23 describes how the Lord's mercies save us from being consumed due to His unfailing faithful compassion, so as Jesus calls us to be merciful, we should be the compassionate armor for other souls.

As God is our refuge and strength (Psalm 46:1), we should be a very present help for those who are in trouble.  We are called to soften the blows of life like tannins which soften, transform, and preserve animal skin into leather.  Tannins come from the heartwood of certain very hard tree species like the red and white Quebrachos.   A Quebracho is such a hard wood that is it is named in Spanish for being an "axe breaker".   The tree's hard and soft qualities are similar to our protective and supportive traits which Jesus calls us to use.  We should find merciful and peaceful methods to break the unloving actions which cause trouble; and to support with loving arms which imitate the arms of God.  In Latin, que bracho means "and their arms".   Considering all of this......I am reminded of how our actions (arms) should be guided by our hearts (Song of Solomon 8:6) and should be protective, yet gentle and supportive as the bark of the Quebracho tree.  Our actions should be blessings for others. Que bracho benedixit. We must bless others in order to be blessed.

 May those who have crossed my path and blessed my life receive God's blessing.
May my brachos be blessings to my family, friends, and those who do not know me.
May my life be worthy of God's blessing.
May God be patient yet pleased with my virtuous efforts and brachos.
Grazie dear Lord for the seen and unseen blessings of my life.
St. Raphael, guide me to a holy life.
Blessed are those who have chosen to love me in the past, present, and future. :-)  Amen.
- little petunia