What really matters?

     As the hours tick away during a work day, we can spend a lot of time controlling....influencing what happens in order to receive the desired results of our efforts.  We set goals.....check off those tasks which were achieved and put off those which were not achieved till another day. Do all of our efforts and goal setting help us to arrive at the destination we really want......the destination of our heart's desire?  Does all of it really matter even when we achieve the last goal on our list at the end of the day? Will our heart's desire be fulfilled?

     What really matters?   If the Law of Conservation of Matter states that all matter is conserved....it is neither created nor destroyed...only changes form, then it would seem that the items on our goal list which seem to matter today may not be of concern tomorrow......because they just keep changing form.  If so....then is our goal list really that important?....Does it really matter?.....I think a goal list would matter if it is in alignment with our heart's desire.  So what is your heart's desire?  My heart's desire is to live and love confidently with a peaceful and happy soul.....through raising my family, teaching, writing, and painting. There was a time when I desired to be "Teacher of the Year", but that isn't the recognition which motivates me anymore.  I want to be successful with anything that I do.....but I desire spiritual successes.....not ones of this world, so I rely on spiritual wisdom and guidance to determine what really matters on my goal list.

     
     In 1 Chronicles 27: 17-18, King David states, "Knowing, my God, how you examine our motives and how you delight in integrity, with integrity of motive I have willingly given all this and have been overjoyed to see your people, now present here, willingly offering their gifts to you.  Yahweh, God of Abraham, Isaac and Israel our ancestors, watch over this for ever, shape the purpose of your people's heart and direct their hearts to you."
....So.....Is your heart's desire aligned with God's purpose for you?  I believe that you can desire to have a certain purpose in life, but if it is not aligned with God's plans, then you will continue to go around in circles till your goals lead you down the path of God's check list.  When your heart's desire is also God's purpose for you, then you will experience success and achieve your goal list.  The psalmist prayed in Psalm 20:4,  "May He grant you your heart's desire and crown all your plans with success!".  Being successful matters.  Success can bring about confidence and happiness which can lead to more successes towards God's glory.  

 

      Prayer and meditation can clue you in on God's purpose for you within your heart's desire.  He will lead you if you ask, look, and listen. Pay attention for the clues around you and in His word. His inspiration is all around.  Trust in the LORD, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the LORD, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass. (Psalm 37:3-5). Allow God to conserve what matters and transform your goal list. With your commitment to His check list, you will achieve what matters, but remember that sometimes God's wisdom may not allow you to attain certain goals which you would prefer. Trust in Him.

May I listen to God's wisdom; and trust in His guidance for what really matters.  St. Raphael, pray for me. 

St. Francis de Sales, pray for me.
St. Theresa the little flower, pray for me.
St. Peregrine, pray for my family and friends.
St. Florian, pray and protect firefighters.
St. Michael, pray and protect my family and friends.

- little petunia

Honorable Memories

Today is the anniversary of a day of adversity....a day with honorable memories.  This is a difficult topic to write about because it involves sorrow and loss.  Sorrow produces different types of responses from those who experience it.  This morning, while watching the family members at the 9/11 dedication speak the names of those who died ten years ago, it is clear that sorrow remains close to the surface of their hearts.  From personal experience, sorrow never really goes away, but the grief from losing a loved one can subside if we let it go. In the book of Sirach (chapter 30), wisdom is expressed, "Give your cares the slip, console your heart, chase sorrow far away; for sorrow has been the ruin of many, and is no use to anybody."  From Jeremiah (chapter 8), it is described how incurable sorrow can overtake a heart and cause it to fail. 

No matter how our loved ones died.....I do not believe that our loved ones who remain with us in spirit desire for our hearts....our spirits.... to fail.  In honorable memory, our souls need to carry on with positive uplifting hope and faith. The void in our hearts which is created from the loss of a loved one can be filled with LOVE.  We need to allow the people around us to love us.  We need to reach out even though we are not in the mood, and love others through charity, compassion, and understanding.  To fill real deep holes of sorrow in your heart....the kind of sorrow that injures your soul..., try loving your enemy....your adversary...It is not an easy thing to do, but forgiveness is a powerful healing tool of love.

These words are written with great respect.  I do not pretend to have the answers to sorrow's calling, but I do send my love out to those who suffer from a loss. My prayers go out to anyone who has experienced a death of a loved one.  May the honorable memories of our loved ones inspire our souls to carry on with love, hope, and faith.  May our actions of love smother others' actions of intolerable hate.  May terrorism and violence (actions and words) be one day extinguished from this world.  May LOVE and FORGIVENESS reign in all of our hearts and souls.  May St. Florian's prayers keep all fire fighters safe as they  fight fires, and may St. Michael protect all First Responders.

St. Raphael guide us through our endeavors of healing and love. Grazie to those who instinctively and courageously give their lives for others. You are loved.   - little petunia

Sorrow's Bane - Ed Schmidt

Love is the one thing
That keeps our spirits whole
When Sorrow comes a knocking
With hurts that touch our soul

When our world falls around us
Darkness fills our dreams
It’s love that lifts our spirits
Bridging Sorrow's streams

Love calls us from the brink
Of being swallowed by the stream
Dispels depression
And warms us in it’s gleam
 

Love helps us through the horror
Of love lost or led astray
Through mans trespass
Or angels spirit them away

Love comes to give us comfort
And wipe away the tears
Love will shield our spirits
When Sorrow's shadow nears

Love’s light whisper
Will stifle Sorrow's gain
In life’s losses
Love is Sorrow’s bane 

Reference: http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/sorrow-s-bane/

Happiness

The amount of happiness that you have depends
on the amount of freedom you have in your heart. 

- Thich Nhat Hanh 

Happiness.....Sometimes it seems like such a vague word. Sometimes it seems to be unattainable. There are different levels of happiness....There is contentment which is a peaceful happiness and bliss which is extreme delight. Felicity is a formal type of fortunate happiness. Basically, happiness is being in a state of pleasure. Can this state be maintained every second of the day? According to Thich Nhat Hanh, it all depends on how much your soul is liberated from this world -how much freedom that you have in your heart.  

 From my experience, a soulful freedom is attained from letting go of worldly goals and expectations and just be....Accepting who you are.....and just being yourself as you were meant to be as a creation of God who is LOVE. St. Francis de Sales said it the best, "Don’t waste your time dreaming of being someone else. Don’t try to be someone else. Work and pray at being yourself. Be who you are, where you are. Concentrate on the little everyday problems and pains that beset you. Reserve your best efforts; expend your spiritual energy on what is right before you. This is what God asks of you. Listen closely. This is very important – and very misunderstood – for we all prefer to do what is to our personal liking. Very few of us choose duty first, or the will of God. Don’t cultivate someone else’s garden. Grow where you are planted.” This means that we are to LOVE where we are planted.

 To attain happiness, we need to LOVE in extreme measures like God which involves charity. When LOVE is so perfect that it moves us to do good carefully, frequently, and readily, then it is called devotion.  St. Francis de Sales states that we are called to be devout, and I believe that when we can be devout in a low-key focused manner, then we will attain extreme freedom in our hearts.  We will feel whole and fulfilled....blissful contentment...every second of the day.

As a side note, I want to describe how honored and amazed I am to know a few people who humbly demonstrate extraordinary devotion to not only their loved ones, but to strangers.  Their acts of love are inspiring, and their imperfect cultivated gardens supply my soul with nourishment and happiness.


May I daily remember to bloom patiently in order to spread the seeds of love while cultivating my garden. St. Raphael, guide my cultivation to happiness. 

Soul's Longing

As the Deer panteth for the Water   by  Martin Nystrom

As the deer panteth for the water,

So my soul longeth after thee.

You alone are my hearts desire,

And I long to worship thee.

 

     "A river flowed from Eden to water the garden, and from there it divided to make four streams." - Genesis 2. How sweet is the sound of a trickling stream or the falling of rain drops on a window pane!  Water is a simple substance, yet it is required for sustaining all life on Earth.  One molecule of water is made up two atoms of hydrogen bonded to one atom of oxygen.  The structure and shape of this magnificent molecule provides the mechanism, matrix, and stored energy essential for moving molecules in and out of life forms supplying a pathway for life to grow, develop and transform. Think how sweetly the Holy Spirit could do the same for our souls. Just as the deer instinctively searches for quenching water sources, our souls are longing for a source to quench its thirst. Instead of lapping up the refreshing power of the Holy Spirit, we reach out to worldly things to supply nourishment to our souls. If we would only search our hearts for truth, then we would sense the presence of the Holy Spirit in close proximity to our true desires. Our pathways of worship would be transformed to support the growth and development of our souls. 

You alone are my strength my shield,

To You alone may my spirit yield.

You alone are my hearts desire,

And I long to worship thee.

 

     It is a known fact that humans can survive for almost a month without eating, but we will perish without water in three to five days.  This is due to our bodies being made up of about 70% water. This large amount of water is needed to maintain our bodies' temperature, breathing, digestion of food, and lubrication of moving joints.  Non-contaminated water can also support metabolism, circulation, and immune function.  Our immune systems protect us from pathogens, toxins, and parasites which invade to breakdown our defenses and cause disease.  The Holy Spirit is our shield of protection for our souls by inspiring behavior and choices which enrich our communication skills with the Heavenly Father.  Unhealthy negative energy is transformed to uplifting positive energy through reactions of love. Our souls yield to the cleansing power of the Holy Spirit which circulates supportive thoughts and emotions which makes our mind and bodies stronger. 

You’re my friend and You are my brother,

Even though you are a king.

I love you more than any other,

So much more than anything.

While we drink our eight glasses of water a day, we should remember to invite and allow the Holy Spirit to cleanse our souls. The status of our total health depends on the interconnections of our mind, body, and soul.  If the connections between these three components break down, then the natural healing power of our bodies will weaken.  Health and strength comes from our minds, bodies, and souls being able to communicate healing elements to one another.  We should choose to rely on the steadfast healing love of the King and give thanks at each sunset for the constant dependable flow of the Holy Spirit. "For I am the Lord, I do not change...." - Malachi 3:6.

 "For I will restore health to you and heal you of your wounds, " says the Lord. 
- Jeremiah 30:17

 

 "O Lord my God, I cried out to You, and You have healed me." 
- Psalm 30:2

 

May I always long for the healing power of the Holy Spirit. St. Raphael pray for us.
- little petunia

Disappointment

    

     The sunrise hasn't occurred  yet, but I anxiously peer out the bathroom window to see if the street is covered with a thick layer of fallen snow.  Even as a teacher, I wait with anticipation for the first winter snow which will bring the first snow day of the school year.  Snow days are glorious moments of reprieve from a long second semester of teaching......But as I blink for the third time, my shoulders droop as I sigh heavily with disappointment. The streets are only lightly dusted. School will be in session. Better luck next time.

 

      Disappointment.  Big word. Big meaning. Big emotion. Big responses. Disappointments are feelings of dissatisfaction.  Expectations were not realized.....were not experienced.  In addition, other feelings can come to the surface....pain, sadness, loneliness, disapproval, disbelief, devastation, despair, and bitterness. Disappointment only leads to a yarn ball of wound up negative emotion and energy. It happens. You can't get away from it. Disappointments are always lurking around the next bend, but you don't need to follow them down the road of misery. This road of misery is a long and winding road of wallering in the muck. Sometimes you can sink in the muck, so don't even go down that road.

 

     After ten years of hopefully.....patiently waiting for a third child, we learned after twelve weeks of pregnancy that we lost the child whom is affectionately called, Josie Blix which means "God will add joy".  It was the most enormous disappointment that I had ever experienced.  The pain and sorrow cut such a deep crevice in my heart that I couldn't find my way out. I was in shock.  I was numb. A smile may have appeared on my face, but my heart was crying buckets of tears. My feet kept moving forward one step at a time, but my mind wanted to run backwards. I was sinking in the muck even though I was holding onto the foot of Jesus' cross.

 

The principles of living greatly include the capacity to face trouble with courage,
disappointment with cheerfulness, and trial with humility.
- Thomas S. Monson

 

    Just when you think that God has forsaken.....forgotten you, He delivers in a big way....in a way that you can't even imagine.  About five months later.........God blessed us with an unexpected pregnancy.  GOD WILL ADD JOY!  To repeat what a dear friend reiterates - GOD IS GOOD! ALL THE TIME! - Allowing my faith to keep me afloat.....holding on tight......gave me relief while living in the crevice of despair.  The experience taught me that there are no expectations as valuable as the works, plans, and guidance of our magnificent Trinity.....Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  Perseverance through the difficult pregnancy and delivery of our third child showed me that we need to rest in his arms and follow His lead. Our only expectations should be His glory.....Our daughter's birth was an unforgettable adventure, and she daily lives the virtue of patient perseverance.  God's strength, love, and light shines through her. She brings joy to all whom she meets.  She bloomed the day she was born while I began a new season.

 

She said, 'My lord, I hope you will always look on me with favour! You have comforted and encouraged me, though I am not even the equal of one of your work-women.' 

- Book of Ruth, chapter 2

 

 

    There have been other disappointments over the years.  If allowed to...disappointments can add up like a pile of boulders, then one day, the boulders will come crashing down and the devastation can be overflowing.  The effects can ripple out like shock waves causing havoc with close loved ones. Disappointments can be a domino effect.  When an expectation doesn't turn out as planned, let it go. Accept it, then give it to God.  Allow Him to do his work.  Our expectations can bind the flow of Holy Spirit in our lives.  It's one thing to communicate our expectations......likes and dislikes....to God, but then we should sit back and watch the "meraviglioso" plans which He has for us. Allow the positive energy of hope to flow.

If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment.
- Henry David Thoreau

 

     We will be delivered from our disappointments by not placing such high value on our expectations and trusting.  Making plans for our daily lives is practical and functional, but don't get hung up when things do not go as planned, or the people in your life do not behave according to your plans. Your plans.....your likes......your dislikes..... may not be the same as others in your life.  Communicate your feelings...express your disappointment, but it is more important to express your love.  Love should be our greatest expectation for ourselves and for the people whom God has placed in our lives.  Don't let your momentary negative feelings devastate others.  Give your disappointment to God and allow Him to guide you to the proper loving response.  Love will fill that hole left behind by disappointment. 

 

Blood of Christ, inebriate me!
Inebriate me with Your Love,
that I may be absorbed in Your interests and Your Will.
Absorbed so as to be unmindful of my ills and petty cares.
Unmindful of weariness and pain,
heartache, and disappointment.
Heedless of the lash of cruel words,
and patient under wrongs.

Amen.

May God's wisdom and St. Raphael always guide me through my moments of disappointment.
- little petunia

Late Bloomers

       The morning barely has light for the mother birds outside to begin searching for the early worm, and I am peering into a magnified mirror to allow myself to put on my face.....as I am looking at myself in a looking glass in my mid-life timeless age, I recollect my mother affectionately calling me a late-bloomer so many yearnful years ago.  What the heck is a late-bloomer?  It reminds me of a rose that is late in blooming during the hot summer months.....aching to show its beauty off....yet struggling to arch its petals in a graceful display.....Why does there have to be a struggle to bloom?

      If you consider the science behind the Fibonacci number system and the arrangement of petals and leaves on plants, then you would think that blooming would be an orderly and easy occurrence, but as we all know it is not.....Despite all odds, a clover will develop with four leaves. Four is not a Fibonacci number.  What seems to go against the order of nature occurs and thrives. I like that idea. How many of us feel like we don't fit in and struggle to find our place in nature? Well, we are as natural as those who do easily find their place, bloom, and thrive.  

       Roses are one my favorite blooms.  They represent a variety of characteristics which most of us dream of acquiring or achieving like joy, gentleness, happiness, gratitude, friendship, enthusiasm, grace, purity, and love, The wild Woods rose whose scientific name is Rosa woodsii inspires me the most.  It thrives in a variety of settings from moderate shade to full sun and can be found on prairies, plateaus, dry slopes, open woods, ravines, and thickets.  In the midst of a harsh environment, a wild rose bush will take root in rocky soil to grow into a graceful gentle display of color amongst the duller grays and browns of its surroundings.  The blooming petals becoming splashes of hopeful life.

     Each of the five petals represent the high virtues required to attain life in one's own soul.  To me the petals around the carpel represent faith, hope, love, humility, and patience.  The delicate petals attract important elements to the carpel....elements which are required to produce new life within a rose. Just think what the world would be like if we allowed our souls to bloom.....opening wide to not only display these virtues but also to attract other souls to bring new life to our world. What a joyful thought!  Isaiah said it best in 35:1...."The wilderness and the dry land shall be glad; and the desert shall rejoice, and blossom as the rose."

      In the midst of adversity, late-bloomers should be the most magnificent of displays of virtue for as we persevere through our struggles, our petals of virtue slowly develop to become beautiful attractions. Blooming late is as much a natural blessing as those who were graced with blooming early.  With effective spiritual and mental training, we can learn to overcome our adversities and transform them into stepping stones to greater achievement. Our struggles become the thickets which support our stretch and bloom away from mediocrity.  

Freesia

    We each have our own time to bloom.  Just as the different species of flowers bloom during different seasons, we each have our own season.  Be patient and loving with yourself.  Find a bloom which represents your soul's calling and allow it to inspire you.  Other blooms which inspire me are freesias (spirited), violets (faithfulness), petunias (perseverance), wisteria (steadfast), and zinnias (thoughts of friends).  Their color, shape, and gracefulness remind me that my time to bloom is never over. Blooming is a cycle that perpetuates through life.........if we gently prune back the pain, sorrow, disappointments, and sin.  Hope will grow with each new blooming season.  Your growing hope will inspire others to bloom.

"I am the rose of Sharon and the lily of the valleys." 
- Song of Solomon 2:1

May you gently bloom over many seasons.
Salute!, little petunia

"The Earth laughs in flowers." 
- Ralph Waldo Emerson