Rispetto

People have different opinions about respect.  Confucius says that if you respect yourself, then others will respect you which means you must have the first action.  Leo Tolstoy wrote in Anna Karenina that respect was invented to cover the empty place where love should be which sounds like it is an option or replacement for love.  In Leaving Paradise, Simone Elkeles wrote that mutual respect is involved with loving each other which indicates that respect is a two-step between people who care for one another.  Around the world, there are communities of people who outwardly show a deep form of respect to others through Namaste by bowing to one another in a certain simple method.  Aadil Palkhivala, a yoga teacher, explains that this mannerism acknowledges the soul in one by the soul in another.  What a wonderful heart-endearing way to honor someone!

Personally, I like how Albert Einstein handled respect.  He stated one time that he spoke to everyone in the same way whether the person was a garbage man or the president of the university.  From this I gather that he didn't need to be in a close personal relationship with the person for him to automatically provide respect for the person. The person didn't need to EARN his respect before he gave respect away.  Einstein didn't have a check list of requirements to follow before he gave respect to another human being.  He just did....which is a form of unconditional love, and isn't that what we are called to do as Christians......as spiritual beings?   There is direction provided in Romans 13:7.....Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed. 

By definition, respect means to honor someone; to show regard for their well-being; and/or to consider their needs and rights. This means that before one makes decisions which involve others around them that they should think about the others' needs before their own.  It doesn't mean that you can't have goals of your own, but when you are in a relationship with someone, your goals should consider the desires of the other person.  Respecting others appropriately ensures that individual goals are met along side family or community goals.  You can not love and respect others if you always meet your desires first.  There is no honor with attaining your desires if your family and friends continue to suffer over and over.  Respect involves making sacrifices of your needs and desires......not your loved ones sacrificing themselves in order for you to be king of the hill while they roll down the decline. 

Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let

 each esteem other better than themselves.

-Philippians 2:3

Respect and love go hand in hand and should be applied to all relationships in one's life.  We should be respecting and loving the sinner as well as those who we think treat us kindly.  I believe that respect is given freely without any requirements.  Respect should not only be given if we feel we are respected....I believe if someone feels like this, then they do not have a healthy positive self-image.  This kind of person has this requirement to puff up their self-image, because they don't like themselves....or don't know how to. They consider their needs first........ THAT IS CALLED SELFISHNESS!  Selfishness is not love.  They can keep telling themselves that they love and respect others, but they are only convincing themselves of a falsehood. Selfish beings are harming their souls.  Their souls are not very attractive.  As St. Augustine stated, "Love is the beauty of the soul."  Do selfish beings really believe that their actions maintain a level of attractiveness that can withstand time and lack of honor? 


To address the self-respect topic, I will admit that beings need to respect themselves, but not to the point of selfishness.  Dr. Wayne Dyer has written in his book, Power of Intention, about things which we can do build or maintain our self-respect. Self-respect provides a fertile foundation for the growth of respect for others. The following are steps for each of us to consider:

Step 1: Look into a mirror, make eye connection with yourself, and say "I love me" as many times
             as possible during your day. 

Step 2: Write the following affirmation and repeat it over and over again to yourself: I am whole
              and perfect as I was created! 

Step 3: Extend more respect to others and to all of life.   

Step 4: Affirm to yourself and all others that you meet, I belong!  

Step 5: Remind yourself that you're never alone. 
Step 6: Respect your body!  

Step 7: Meditate to stay in conscious contact with your Source, which always respects you. 

Step 8: Make amends with adversaries.

Step 9: Always remember the self in self‑respect.

Step 10: Be in a state of gratitude. 

Remember that there are clear cut directions from Divine inspiration to guide our respect for others.  Respect for others is clearly stated in the ten commandments.  Children are guided to respect their parents......and even as adult children, we are to respect our parents.  Respect never stops. The commandments guide spouses to respect one another and neighbors to respect each other. Those 10 commandments are pretty clear, and I don't remember reading anything about requirements nor exceptions. If the concept of respect is new for you, then just begin by initiating a smile. A smile is the simplest form of respect. 

 

 Let us always meet each other with a smile for the smile is the beginning of love.
- Mother Teresa

One last comment about respect deals with a topic of titles.  People have titles because they have accomplished a level of learning or training; or state in life.  A married woman's title is "Mrs.", and it should be a respected title.  A married woman's title should not be altered to make single or divorced woman feel better about themselves whose titles are either "Miss" or "Ms.".  I am sorry, but the feelings of the women in these other states of life are NOT more important than the state of life of a married woman.  I greatly respect the life of a single and divorced woman.  They have their own sufferings and crosses to bear, but married woman should be NOT be forced into their category.  Titles are badges of honor which should be respected across the board.  

A lack of respect for titles is also being experienced in the field of science according to an article written in Physics Today by a physicist, Robert Cassola.   He wrote that he has observed a trend in the referencing of scientific professionals during interviews and states that he believes that titles are used as a sign of respect and credibility.  Cassola recommends that scientists must demand the same level of respect as other professionals; and claims that to demand less diminishes scientific professions.

St. Francis de Sales, pray for my courage to remain.

St. Theresa the little flower, pray for my humility.

St. Raphael, the Archangel, pray for my courage.

Mother Mary, please take my intentions for Bernardette's healing to your son.
St. Pio, pray for my loved ones to learn how to truly respect others before themselves.
Spirit of Jesus, come into my soul. - Amen.

- little petunia